The day I gave birth to guilt.

The day I gave birth to Liam, I gave birth to guilt.  Fact.

When I think about it, its hereditary.  My mum suffers from it, and when I look back at the Irish blood that runs through my mum's side of the family, its probably so ingrained into our lives we don't know what to do with it.

On Friday I was trawling the newsagents in my lunch hour to look for a magazine to read and I came across Red, my favourite UK magazine.  I thought it was only $9.95 but when I put my $20 note out and only got 5c change and gasped in horror, I realised that the shop assistant had moved onto another customer.

Maybe the universe was trying to tell me something because in the magazine was was an article called 'Give yourself a guilt-tox'.  Since I got my promotion at work before Xmas I have had a lot more work piled on my plate and what with trying to do the best I can and show my employers I am capable of this new opportunity, my other life, a mum and wife...well, its there......guilt.  I hate it and it lives rent free in my head.

'What is the point of feeling guilty? It doesn't make me a better person, just a fretful, unhappy one.'

The purpose of guilt is so we fix things, that's a 'healthy guilt'.  But guilt is pointless when there's nothing that can be fixed by it. 

'Conscience' driven guilt, can be used to alert us to the fact that we have done something wrong, and then 'pressure' driven guilt, when are trying to live up to other people's standards.

The tricky part is figuring out which type of guilt you feel.

I could list a million things I feel guilty about at the moment, and since I became a mother, it's harder not to feel it.

After my playdate this afternoon with some other mothers, I think we were all of the opinion, that there is no easy answer.  But we talk about it, and that is healthy.  I think every mother has their own struggles and their quest to find balance whether they are a stay at home mother or working mother. 

So perhaps in this blog you'll read more about how I try desperately to get rid of this guilt and what I can do to ease it. 

Just remember, each day, you are just doing the best you can.

And, that is all that matters.